


Amazing Smol and Their Adventures

by homoamphibians



Series: Borrowers Universe #1 [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), The Borrowers - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Giants, References to The Borrowers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-06-05 11:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15169289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homoamphibians/pseuds/homoamphibians
Summary: Being two inches tall in a world filled with human beings was difficult. Thousands of borrowers had lived in the human's houses, barely surviving. Most of them were killed. But they all kept the secret well enough. They died for a greater cause. They died so the rest of the borrowers could survive.And now it's time for a non-binary borrower to set off and do that same very thing that their ancestors have done for centuries. Survive.To be honest, they really suck at doing that though. From living in a Starbucks, to almost dying in the snow, their luck seems to be really bad. Their luck gets better for a spell as they live in an abandoned house. But soon the human beings that lived there come back. And damn are they hard to live with.The two human beans never sleep, have multiple cameras, randomly scream, and one of them is the clumsiest thing our little person has ever seen. Will the borrower be able to survive in such conditions? Or will they have to move out and find somewhere that has more predictable humans?Find out in this adventure.





	1. What Happens At Starbucks Stays At Starbucks

Even though it was the middle of the human month of August, it was snowing. 

Wet, fluffy, violent, flakes, the size of half of my body, attacked me from all directions. 

I wished I wasn't moving today.I wish I hadn't been discovered. I wish I could have just stayed in that Starbucks. 

It certainly wasn't ideal with all the human beans walking in and out all the time. And the fact it was open from very early to very late didn't help. But still. The amount of food I got was simply amazing. And it was quality food. Not to mention, I had acquired an almost addiction to what the beans called coffee. Especially the mochas. 

This was what had gotten me into trouble. This was what had gotten me seen. 

That was why I was out in the snow, dying of the coldness. 

London was the worst. 

Remind me to move to the Bahamas or something.How would a borrower get to the Bahamas? I didn't fucking know. But the dream of the Bahamas was helping me move my legs through the snow. My vivid hallucination of somehow going to the Bahamas and being served by a bean was literally keeping me alive. 

I stumbled further into the snow, glad no human was around.

I just needed to find a home.

Somewhere with warmth, food, and little to none human beans, which was going to be impossible. 

Beans were everywhere. 

I knew they were called Human Beings, with an emphasis on the ings but I still called them Beans.

 It was what my da called them. 

He was a traditional borrower, whilst my mum was an intellectual. My mum researched the Humans, finding out everything she could from the simple cottage we lived in. She studied their mannerisms, food tastes, among other things. My da was the one who mostly kept us alive. He built our home, gathered supplies, and taught me how to borrow. They were the perfect team. They weren't perfect parents however. They taught me how to survive, but they didn't really teach me anything you know, not physical. They didn't teach me how to deal with my emotions, they didn't teach me how to talk. It was like they didn't want me to be a person, just to be a machine giving them food. 

Which is why mum kicked me out when I finally spoke out. Well, I say kicked out but I wanted to leave at that point.

To be fair, I should have taken it slow. I should have led up to it. Instead I ripped off the bandage. I "came out" as the beans called it. 

My mum told me I couldn't possibly identify as a gender that wasn't male or female. She told me I was acting like a bean, and that true borrowers didn't mess around with this whole identity thing. 

My dad was pleading with me just to forget everything and to be his little Wendi. His little girl again. 

I couldn't do it. 

The last straw for my mother, the reason I could never go back home, was me telling her I'd rather be crushed or captured by a human bean than being in a household that didn't accept me for who I was. 

I hitched a ride in one of the giant things that transport beans around, and next thing I knew I was moving into Starbucks. 

But that was enough reminiscing, 

I should probably focus on the fact that if I didn't find shelter soon I would literally die. Priorities. 

Also I couldn't move. 

Cause I was trapped in the snow. 

Shit. This was the end. 

I was a horrible borrower. 

And I was dying. 

Something, slightly cold, rough but yet soft, gently touched my side. 

Shit. It was something big, I could feel the raw power of it. 

Next thing I know, I was being lifted out of the snow. 

Moving things curled around me, I could feel a vibration,a rhythm coming from my captor. 

It was a human bean. 

I was about to die in the snow, but even worse... I got discovered. 

After the human got hold of me, we moved quickly, me jostling around but being unable to move myself. 

Warm air surrounded me through the tiny gaps between the large mounds of flesh holding me. 

This was not fun. I hated this with all of my heart. I wished I was dying in the snow right now.

Instead I felt incredibly nauseous as I was being shook around. And then the anxiety that came from being captured hit.

What would the human bean do to me? Would it crush me? Lock me up in a jar? Or something even worse?

Would the borrower community be exposed for the first time in the 21st century?

Because of me?

Would I endanger all the borrowers? Would everyone die because of my mistake?

Or would it just be me dying?

I'd like to be noble and be all like "I'll sacrifice myself to save the borrower kind" but I wasn't that noble.

I didn't want to die.

Well at least I didn't want to be in pain.

The human would probably take a while in killing me. It probably would torture me first.

We had stopped moving.

I was placed on something hard and smooth, the hand withdrawing once I was securely on whatever I was on.

My eyes were shut, I was curled into the most compact position possible.

A voice, attempting to be quiet but still loud came out of the human. "Are you okay?"


	2. Microwaves are Really Weird

Yes I passed out. 

No I don't want to talk about it. 

It was scary okay? I was cold, a human was talking to me, and I'm pretty sure I was officially in a human bean's house. I was captured and dying. Not to mention, I have a fear of heights and I certainly was up high. 

Wow a borrower with a fear of heights? How pathetic. 

I know. I'm pathetic. 

And cold. 

And captured. 

Not to mention I'm being stared at by a human bean while I have a full-blown conversation in my head. 

I'm insane. 

No you are not. 

Yes I am. 

There's no one here besides the human so I'm literally talking to myself. 

This is weird. 

You're weird. 

I know. 

Fuck. 

Breathe. 

I just need to breathe. 

Having a panic attack won't help. 

Toooooo late! 

I can't fucking move. I can't breathe. 

The bean is getting closer. 

WHAT THE FUCK.

WHY IS IT TOUCHING MY HAIR?

WHY IS IT STROKING ME?

OH MY GOD IT'S TALKING TO ME NOW. 

"Breathe. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." 

It wrapped a cloth around me now. The cloth was legit perfect size for me to have a blanket. Remind me to borrow that cloth later. 

Except I wasn't going to. Because there was probably no later. 

After what seemed like an eternity later of me being trapped inside my own brain, I could move my hand. 

The human noticed the movement. "Are you feeling better?" 

I nodded, before I could stop myself. 

Why was I doing this? 

Why was I interacting with a human bean?

Because you're an idiot. 

No one asked for your opinion get the fuck out. 

Can't. I'm a part of you. 

Remember when I said you were insane? Here's evidence. 

Stop panicking. 

Breathe. 

It's okay. 

If the human wanted to kill you, it would have already.

"Are you hungry? Do you eat food? Do you want food?" Rapid fire questions from the bean above me. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do for you. I'm kinda panicking cause I don't want you to die because of me being an idiot." 

The bean was panicking as well. 

Yay we could panic together before it killed me!

"It's okay. Breathe. I'm not going to die unless you kill me." I said before I could stop myself. 

The bean fell out of it's chair. "Okay shit. Well you talk. Okay that's cool. I'm not going to hurt you, much less kill you. So food, yay, nay?" It started to get up. 

I was hungry. Like really hungry. But I needed to leave. But food. 

"Food would be good." I said before I could stop myself. 

Stop talking. Talking is bad. 

You gonna straight up die. 

My brain was going to end up killing me. 

"Okay yes food. Yes. I can do food." The human seemed almost as nervous as I was. 

But why? 

I couldn't kill the human.

It had no reason to be nervous. 

I should figure out what pronouns it uses so I don't refer to it as it. 

No.

I should leave. 

What the fuck am I doing? 

"Um what types of foods do you eat?" 

"Like anything," I responded. I needed to stop doing that. But here I was. Being an idiot. Well I mean I couldn't do anything to fight it so might as well be cordial to the human so it doesn't get angry and kill me. 

"Alright, I guess I'll just fix up a bit of soup for you and a warm drink so you warm up. What type of soup do you want?" 

"Anything is fine." I responded again. 

For a deadly person, the human was actually kind of chill. Probably a trap to kill me, but hey I might get some food so yeah. And I kind of owed it since it saved my life from the snow. 

"Alright, I guess I'll fix some Corn Chowder, to get some vege-tables in you. That sounded weird. I'm sorry," it headed towards one of the high cupboards, increased it's height temporarily to get a can about the size of me down, and then opened one of the many drawers to pull out a weird contraption. 

It had blades on it and a knob type thing. 

It looked the perfect size for killing a borrower. 

"What is that?" I asked suddenly, before I could stop myself. My voice was trembling with fear. 

"Huh? Oh this?" It waved the sharp object around a bit. "It's just a can opener. For opening the can. The can of soup." It gestured to the soup awkwardly. 

"Oh sorry." I bit my lip, looking away. I was an idiot. Context clues. I should have used them. 

"No worries," it used the device to open the can and then pour the can's contents into a bowl. 

The bowl was covered in the material my father used for waterproofing and then shoved into a giant thing. Buttons were pressed, a beeping noise was heard and then a countdown started on the digital device. What?

This made no sense. 

The human world was so confusing. 

"Sorry to bother you, but what did you just put that bowl in?" I asked, curiosity winning out. 

"Oh that? That's a microwave." It turned to look at me, staring for a moment longer than I would have hoped for. "So obviously you're not a human shrunk down like my original theory, because you don't know what a microwave is. Unless you're from like a third world country or something, in which case I am so sorry if that offended you. But like what are you?" 

"You thought I was once as big as you? Woah. I'm not. I was just always this size." 

"Will you tell me what it's like to be that small?" 

"Will you tell me about human beans?" 

"Beans? Human beans? Wait," it looked off thoughtfully in the distance. "I'll be right back." Thundering footsteps were heard as it took off from the room. 

I was left alone. The "microwave" let out  a long beep as the countdown stopped. 

But now that I was alone I had time to think. How much could I tell the human about my world? I guess I could tell them about my family, but make them believe my family was the only borrowers. I didn't want to endanger everyone. 

Thundering footsteps announced it's arrival. 

It was holding a book. Very worn down which meant the only thing that was visible on the cover was the title. The Borrowers. 

Shit. 

There was a book about us?

When did this happen? 

Was this the great incident of the 20th Century? 

Was that what we borrowers were referring to? 

"Are you a borrower?" 


	3. Breaking Hearts and Not Eatin Soup

The question rung out. 

I didn't know what to do. 

How could I answer it? 

I nodded. "There's a human book on us?" 

I was growing paler and paler every second. I  might pass out. What exactly was in this book? Were we exposed? Was the only reason my family was safe because our human hadn't seen the book? Were all humans on a manhunt to slaughter borrowers? Was this world even less safe than I had thought?

"Yep." It said before examining me. "Everyone thinks it's just a fairy-tale so don't worry your secret is safe with me."

"You're not going to tell anyone?" 

"I won't. Why would I? That would be a total dick move." It put the book down, alarmingly close to where I was and then went to the "microwave" and pulled the bowl out. "Anyway Ima let this cool down for a moment so it doesn't like burn you. Do you want something to drink?"' 

"Yes please," I responded, still processing what the fuck had just happened. 

"I have some coffee, is that okay?"

"That would be brilliant. I take mine with extra cream if that's not too much of a hassle." 

I didn't know exactly what I was doing, but almost dying had made me more relaxed. Plus this human bean saved my life. I kind of owed it, to be comfortable around it. 

I really needed to figure out pronouns. 

And a name.

And then get the fuck out of here. 

Or I could stay. 

This person was extremely kind to me. Plus it could teach me all about the human world. 

But I couldn't stay. 

It knew too much. And plus it might expose me. I didn't know it that well. 

"No hassle at all." It smiled before starting to prepare the coffee. 

Again my body did something without me telling it to. 

As soon as the human's back was turned, my body launched itself off the human counter, making a barely audible noise when I landed on the floor. 

I spotted a hole in the wall, that might fit me and ran towards it. I could slide inside of it, and now I was extremely hidden. Away from all danger. 

But I didn't really want to be away from all danger if the danger was a really nice human who made me food. 

"Coffee's almost done.Wait. Where'd you go? Are you okay? Why did you leave? Did you fall someplace?" 

Silence, and then more beeping from the microwave. 

"Well I guess I don't have to figure out how you would eat soup now." 

A moment of silence and then a large thud. 

"What did I do wrong? Why did they leave?" 

More silence. 

At this point I was crying. I was sorry I had hurt this human. I wanted to apologize, but it was better off this way. The borrower secret was, mostly, safe. 

Plus all humans were evil. It was in my best interest to stay away from them. But I didn't want to stay away.

If it was better, why did it hurt so bad? 

I heard a couple of indistinguishable noises from the human before a sigh and footsteps. 

Realization hit me as I lay in my hiding space. 

Human beans weren't monsters. I was.


	4. Moving Out and Moving In

I lived in the bean's flat, still don't know why the bean referred to it as a flat, for about a week. I convinced myself that I was waiting for the bizarre snowstorm to stop. That was the reason that I hid the real reason behind. In actuality, I didn't want to leave her. And I don't think she wanted me to leave. 

Oh and I also found out that her pronouns were she/her and her name was Violet. Which was nice to know. 

I borrowed quite a lot from her, but I was pretty sure she knew I was doing it. 

She would loudly announce things like, "I'm leaving the house now," or "I'll be back at 8 pm and no sooner". So the possibilities were that she was always on the "cellphone", which I learned about from watching her, she was really forgetful and was talking to herself, or she knew/hoped I was there. 

So yeah, I lived in her flat for about a week, and then it was sunny and okay again. Which meant, I was going to go flat shopping. What did I mean by flat shopping? 

I would enter every flat, analyze the humans and other things in the flat, and then decide if I wanted to live there. 

It was a tiring process, especially since I would start to build my house once I found a nearby flat to live in. Did the flat have to be nearby? Not necessarily. Honestly I'm just lazy. And scared of walking now.

Which was a legit fear honestly. 

After Violet announced that she would be "returning at 11pm tonight" and left, I made my move. Literally. 

I grabbed my bag which was filled with building materials and snacks, and scurried out of the hole. 

After that I managed to slide through a crack on the side of the door, mostly by the power of thinking skinny thoughts. 

And then I was on my way to start finding a home to live in. 

The first flat I went to, which was the one above Violet's had dogs. I'm not a dog person. Or a cat person. It's hard to like animals when most of them could trample you or eat you. 

Fish were nice. 

The second flat was ground level but a building across from Violet's. They had a baby. Which again is not good for a borrower. Babies grow up into children, and children are the scariest form of human. 

This went on for a while, about 3 days of me being without a home. 

Until I finally found a flat that would work. 

It had a lot of plants and stools around, which meant things to climb. There wasn't anything that specifically pointed to evidence of pets or children. Plus it was empty and there was a big box of cereal all ready for me to take. 

It was perfect. I started building my house that day. It would start off in the walls, and then dip under the floor for a section of it. 

It was going to be hard to build an entire house by myself, but little did I know, I had all the time in the world.


	5. Apartment Tour?

It had taken about a week but my house was finally done. It was very nice if I say so myself. 

There were three entrances. One in the kitchen, for late night borrowing, one by the door, so I could escape easily, and one in one of the bedrooms, for a reason I didn't know exactly but it worked. All three of them had undetectable entrances. The kitchen had a door that was invisible to the human eye, because the door was made up out of a piece of the wall. The hallway one had a fake "power outlet" I think it was called. And the bedroom one was behind the bed. 

After entering one of the entrances, there was a sloped hallway that eventually went under the floor. At the part where I started going underground there was a barbed door that would keep out any mice/insects/creatures I didn't want. 

The first official room of the house was my all-purpose room. What's an all purpose room? Well it's a room that has a lot of stuff in it. It had my table and chair, my water supply, and eventually some sort of entertainment. The table and chair I had carved off, using a knife I had taken from my original home, from a bit of a table with some decorations on it. I didn't take any of the decorations, mostly because I had no idea what they had meant. My water supply was a jar, about half my size tall and twice my width, which I had filled using a bit of a bottlecap I had made into a cup. It was a slow process but by the time it was done it was worth it. I didn't know what I was going to get for entertainment but that was a quest for another time. 

Going from there, there was my bathroom. The sink fed from my water supply and so did the bath. I had some how managed to wire it so that my toilet was connected to the human's toilet. Don't ask me how I did it cause I have no idea. It just happened. And I was grateful for that. 

After my bathroom there was a little "crossroads". I think I've heard the term used like this before. Maybe not. Language is hard. 

To the left was my bedroom. I was very proud of my bedroom. I had a bit of cloth that I used as decoration. It was blue red and white and I hung it opposite of my bed. I didn't know why I liked it so much but I did. And then there was my bed. It was a fire stick box with all the fire sticks taken out and put in my pantry. On top for comfort, I had a piece of a not really colorful thing I had found covering the other bean's bedroom. It was dark and didn't match my pretty blue red and white but it was very warm. It had multiple layers in one cloth square that I had cut out. 

To the right was my pantry. I had another jar of water in there, I had my fire sticks, I had assorted tools, and then I had my food. By food I mean cereal. That was the only food item left out so I had been living off of it. I had stocked up for what would probably last me the next full year. It tasted really good but I kinda wished I had other food to eat. 

Which was what my borrowing would be today. I would be going into a new world. I would be attempting to open a cupboard and see what food there was that these humans ate. Unless they survived on only cereal. That would be weird though, right? I didn't know. I didn't know anything about the beans who lived here. Mostly because they were never home. Which was kind of a good thing because I was thriving in living in a household with plenty of supplies and no beans. 

I swung my bag over my shoulders, attached my knife and hook to my pockets for easy use, and then headed out. Little did I know that this adventure would be very different from my past experiences borrowing in this flat.


	6. Banting and Panicking

I fucked up. I was going to die. My thoughts while I was spinning through the air.

How did I get to this point in my life? I'm glad you asked.

Everything had started off fine. I had gotten to the kitchen and had swung my hook onto the handle of the cabinet to open it. To open it I need leverage so I pulled myself into the air and pulled back as hard as I could. It wouldn't open so I swung back and forth to try and get it popped open. I was going pretty high up there on my swings but it wouldn't have been a problem if I hadn't been startled and accidentally let go. 

The front door had opened and a human voice had called out "honey I'm home!"

I needed to get down but I couldn't stop swinging. It just kept on going back and forth. 

A human bean had walked into the kitchen and my first instinct was to let go. I timed my freaking out and letting go when I was about to reach the high of the swing and thus went sailing through the air. 

And that's my story. 

"Peej catch her!" An actually normal sounding voice cried out. 

Next thing I know I was in the hand of a human bean. Again. But at least I wasn't dead. 

"I know you had to but never move that fast again. I'm going to be sick." The normal voice said again. It was nice to hear a voice that didn't hurt my eardrums. 

"Please don't get sick in my pocket. I paid a lot of good money for this shirt." The human responded slowly walking somewhere. 

I was still trapped in it's hand. 

"You got it for free from Dan and Phil and don't act like you didn't." The normal one laughed a bit. 

"True true, don't rub in the fact that free is a lot of money to me." The human laughed as well. 

Next thing I know I was placed gently on the counter, the hand retreating away from me. Deja vu much?

"Peej I'll get out here and you can go retrieve the poor little thing's hooks and stuff from the cabinet there. I'll check her for any injuries and she'll probably appreciate me more than you cause you're weird and no one likes you." 

"Damn okay, I see how it is Em." A small noise of impact was accompanied by the sound of the human leaving. 

At this point I opened my eyes. 

I was shocked to see that another borrower was looking right at me.

"You live! That's always a good thing. Are you injured anywhere?" 

"No..." I said cautiously. "Except I think I hit my head because were you talking to that human?" 

"I've known Pj for years, don't worry. We're really close. He wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally. So when did Dan and Phil get a borrower?" 

"No one has got me. I just moved in." I sat up at this point.

"Has no one been feeding you regularly? How do you even borrow? They're on tour right now, where do you get your food?" The other borrower looked at me, very concerned. 

"I have plenty of food don't worry. That's going to be a hassle to move though." I muttered the last part under my breath. I was really upset that I was going to be moving again. I had kind of grown attached to the house I had spent forever building. 

"Why would you move?"

"Because I've been seen. Obviously you've never heard of the borrower code but I follow those rules." 

"Pj's never told anyone about me, so he wouldn't tell anyone about you. Plus the two owners of the house don't know about you so you're not breaking the code. Plus haven't you ever been seen before?" 

"Too many times." I nod in response. 

"Pj! Are you going to tell the world about this borrower?" 

"Not planning on it." He responded, still busy trying to unfasten my hook from the cabinet. "Did you find out her name yet Em? That's the nice thing to do." 

"I'm not a girl." I said extremely quietly. 

"Oops sorry! What pronouns do you use? And also your name?" The borrower asked me. 

"They/them and I don't have one." 

"Peej! They don't have a name!" The borrower responded. 

The human bean had turned around at this point and was looking at me. "Well... if you don't have a name you can just come up with one yourself. You get to create your identity from scratch." 

"Do I have to?" Not only did this sound like a lot of work to me, I didn't know where to start. I didn't know who I was.

"You don't have to do anything." The human, Pj, placed my hook and supplies right next to me. "You need a human to get you anything before we go?" 

"Is there any food besides cereal?" My courage had come through again and I asked the question I had been hoping to answer this entire time. 

He opened the cabinets, and looked around for a moment. "There's a packet of beef crisps? Besides that just cereal." 

"Not surprising when you think about who's house this is honestly."

"Can you not roast my friends all the time?" 

"I'll get back to roasting you." The borrower, Em, responded. 

It was weird to see a borrower banting with a human. 

"Do you want the crisps?" Pj asked.

"Yes please." I nodded. 

"See at least some borrowers have manners." He carefully put them next to me. 

"I had manners and then I moved in with you. You're a bad influence Peej." 

"Am not. You're just a bad person. Anyway small friend, we will maybe see you around but we won't tell anyone about you." 

They left at this point, Em jumping into his pocket and the two of them arguing and talking about something. 

I grabbed my crisps, which I was barely able to carry, and headed home, utterly exhausted and confused. It was weird to imagine that a borrower and human could live together with them both knowing about each other.

Maybe I could have that relationship one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in case you're wondering about Em. She's getting a story all about her and Pj which is kinda a prequel to this story.


	7. The beans come back and a fight happens

It had been a peaceful few weeks. I was able to just live in my house and then go around the big flat as much as I wanted to. I climbed a couple towering things that had books in them, experimented with the box that shouted at you if you pressed the red button of the remote, watered a few plants, and even found some things. 

They weren't much, but I had found two cardboard people that I was about the same height as. Sure they couldn't talk but they kept me company. It was rather lonely. But still peaceful. 

The peace was broken one morning. 

I was just in bed, when I heard the big door open and obnoxiously loud quick footsteps before a loud crash. 

"Philllll." An unknown voice complained before bursting into laughter. 

"Can you help me up?" This was another unknown voice, but I assumed it belonged to the human called Phil. 

The only response was this weird clicking or something noise. I had never heard such a noise before. 

"Dan!" His yell was loud enough so that my ears sort of hurt. 

"Oh dearie me.. You are in a predicament aren't you, Phil? It would be a shame if the internet saw you like this." 

"Don't be an ass. Just help me up." 

There was a sound of more footsteps before a groan. 

"Thanks." A light chuckle followed the word. 

"How did you even fall like that?" The footsteps headed off to the kitchen.

It would be an idiot move to go closer, but I was curious. So I did what I do best. Be an idiot. I grabbed my hook and pin, just in case, and headed up to my kitchen entrance. I wouldn't go out of course. I would just be closer to them. See what happened. 

Because I was walking I didn't catch Phil's answer.  

"That's totally going on twitter. Phil got so excited to see his plants he tripped and fell on his ass. Hashtag my flatmate is an idiot. Hashtag the first thing that happened since the tour. Am posting." 

There was a groan from Phil and then the footsteps suddenly stopped. Dan was in the kitchen now. 

"We left the cereal out. It's probably all stale." 

Oh no. 

A rustling sound signaled my worst fears, he was looking at the cereal. They would know I existed. I'm an idiot. This is how I die. 

Dan's fist, I assumed, hit the wall very close to where I was. 

Oh shit. 

"Well it's not stale. It's just not there. Phil! Did you eat all of my fucking cereal?" His voice was growing increasingly louder. 

"How would I have eaten your cereal on the tour?" Was the reply. 

I started backing away. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to be this close to them. They could discover me at any minute. Especially if Dan kept on hitting the wall. 

"I don't know! You're just such a cereal thief that you eat all my cereal while we're not even home." His voice got slightly quieter. 

"I swear I didn't. How could I have even? You're not being logical." 

They started yelling at each other at this point. I scurried down the passageway to my house. I would stay in the middle of it where they could not get to me until they calmed down. After all, angry beans were the type of beans you didn't go near. There's a little life lesson from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof I'm so sorry for the long wait. I've been having a lot of writer's block mixed in with a struggling relationship. I can't promise the updates will be more frequent, but I can promise there's going to be a lot of Dan and Phil in the updates, with maybe a bit of a Peej coming back....


	8. Of Mice and (Hu) Men

I found out the bedroom my third entrance was in, belonged to the one called Phil. He seemed quieter, but he was rather clumsy. He dropped things and fell over several times within the time of that night. 

I was just sitting by my window, an impossible to see hole in the wall I built so I could see the beans, and was looking at the bean as he lay on his bed. He seemed rather comfortable in his position and I doubt he would have moved from it. 

"Phil?" Dan called out rather loudly.

"Yeah?" Phil shouted, causing me to instinctively cover my ears. They were loud. 

"I think we have mice! Something tore a square out of my duvet! Come look at this!"

"I would but I'm sooo comfy!" Phil shouted back.

I hoped this wasn't a usual thing that happened. I didn't think I could handle the noise.

"I'll just text you a pic!"

"Mmkay thanks!" Phil shouted before everything grew quiet again.

Now there was just a couple of sounds I had learned were notification sounds.

Since it was mostly quiet I could focus and think about what I just heard. My stomach dropped. Oh shit. They were talking about me. I had cut a square out of the soft fabric. They were going to be looking for me.

How did I get out of this mess? I really wish I had a way to communicate with Em, because at least I knew how her human bean would react to borrowers. But I didn't. I was here and they were going to go hunt me and track me down. 

"Do you want to just get a new one?" Phil suddenly shouted, I covered my ears again. 

"I guess, but maybe we should put out traps for the mouse!" 

Traps. Oh no. That was never a good sign. Traps made it hard to live.

Maybe it was time to consider moving again, but I didn't want to. I had a nice setup honestly. I could probably last a full month without leaving yhe house. Maybe longer.

"I don't want to put up traps..." Phil hollered back.

A series of thundering footsteps and then Dan was in the room. "Move over ho." He said rather quietly.

Phil rolled, moving his body closer to mine, lowkey blocking my exit. That was fine.

Dan flung himself on to the bed, accidentally kicking the wall.

The wall vibrated underneath my feet and I fell over, feeling dizzy and sick. I attempted to stumble away, but I couldn't. I couldn't move, I was so dazed.

"Did you hear what I said?" Phil asked, them being quieter now that they were in the same room. At least that would help my headache.

"Mhmm..." Dan nodded. "I know you don't want traps, but we have to catch what's eating our belongings."

"I don't want to hurt a tiny innocent creature."

Their words started blurring together. I couldn't think or hear properly. I had hit the back of my head on the floor when I fell over.

I was awake, I just couldn't process anything.

That would have been fine, if they were talking about anything else. But it turns out I missed a crucial part of a plan to capture me.

And my head still hurt to boot! 


	9. L8 Night With the Beans

They never slept. Ever. 

They stayed up all the time. If one wasn't up, the other one would be. 

Which made borrowing a hell of a job. 

I was stuck eating cereal and crisps and I needed variety. You might think that makes me whiny or privileged. But eating sugar and weird tasting snack food all the time, was not good for my borrower body. I had to start exercising to make sure I stayed in top borrower condition. I didn't want to do that. 

Not to mention, I was going a little stir crazy just trapped in the house constantly. I wanted out. I wanted freedom. I had to get it. 

So tonight I ventured out.

I poked my head out of the kitchen exit and walked around the counter, hoping to find something. There was slim pickings, not a lot. I found out very quickly that they mostly just ordered food into the house. They also tended to eat all of the food they ordered, which was very annoying. The only thing that was left on occasion was some flavoring liquid that Dan liked to order way too much of. There was a large variety of those in the house, but I needed substantial food. Something to keep me a mean, lean, borrowing machine. 

Unfortunately, I did not find that. Instead I found myself in a state of terror. 

Footsteps were heading nearby, and they were coming in such a way there was no possible easy way for me not to be seen and enter through my kitchen entrance. 

So I launched myself onto the floor, which was a fairly bad mistake. 

It was the clumsy one, and I was on the ground where he could easily kill me without even realizing it. 

His footsteps rumbled closer, this was bout to be the end for me.

Except it wasn't. With a speed that surprised myself, I launched onto his bright blue sock. Shockingly, I didn't immediately die. Instead, I hooked myself onto there securely. 

I was now a passenger on the Phil, who could still easily trip and kill me without even realizing it.

I should've asked the last borrower I saw if I could live with her. Pj wouldn't kill me, most likely. I didn't know him that well. But Em seemed like she trusted him, and she didn't have any signs of abuse. It might've been a good opportunity. Instead I was here.

The ride was bumpy and constantly lurching. I was never going to ride on a sock again. There was also the fact, I didn't know where he was going. He could be going to the bathroom, disgusting, or going outside or going to fling his socks into the abyss. I didn't know. All I knew was that he was humming and I hoped he stopped soon so I could get off of this death ride. 

I looked up to see a familiar doorway. He was going into the other bean's room. He stopped to place something on the desk saying a remark about "let me know if you need me to send some pupperinos your way." 

I took this opportunity to jump off of his sock, onto the desk and start climbing up it. Dan appeared to be distracted, just staring at his 'laptop'. 

Once Phil left and shut the door, I continued my way up the desk to find an easy way out. 

"Um, hello?" 

Apparently, Dan wasn't as distracted as I had hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me forever to update this. I'm working on college applications, scholarships and act prep and I am super stressed. Also my boyfriend broke up with me and my cat died. So I'm having a great time in my life rn.


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